Super Willie Action Man

Order your very own Super Willie McGee Action Man, as featured by Upper Deck-Co:

Enjoy his crime-fighting pearly whites that can blind the vision of any evil-doer Giants batter all the way from his perch at the right field foul pole. Willie's kung fu grip and snap-action swing guarantees to keep him batting a precise .295 for the lifetime of your ownership, or your money back from Deck-Co. Impress your friends with Willie's lightning-fast speed and patented "Whiteyball" fundamentals.

But there's more, so much more. Your Super Willie comes fully accessorized with forty-seven retractable bats, thirty-four genuine ostrich-skin gloves, a life supply of Bengay, and Willie's sidekick, Lord Cornelius Hamster the Third. All this neatly stowed into his Kryptonite Crimson Carry-on. The Giants couldn't keep him and the Cardinals can barely contain him; get your parents to log on to Nachos Grande and vote today so you can meet your very own Super Willie Action Man soon.

Warning: Super Willie Action Man contains small parts that are choking hazards for children under 10 and old-man collectors under 67. Super Willie Action Man should be kept out of direct sunlight or has the potential to spontaneously combust. Super Willie Action Man should be used in fully ventilated areas. Turn off pilot lights and electrical devices before opening the Kryptonite Crimson Carry-on. Deck-Co and all its affiliates (Ovation, Sweet Spot, Goudey, etc.) are not responsible for the fatalities caused by the misuse of Super Willie Action Man.